Coyote Cuisine

After decades of being driven out to the wilds of North America, the coyote is making a spectacular comeback all over the country. A wolf-like, wild dog native to North America, the coyote was unmercifully exterminated—like its cousin the wolf—from populated areas long ago, but the clever animal has recovered and is showing up in many major American cities. A recent survey found that over 90% of American urban areas are currently inhabited by them. And they are becoming increasingly bold—often being seen in broad daylight. Out here in my countryside they can be heard calling on occasion, but rarely seen; maybe because we have a dog patrolling the area.

Today's urban coyotes are discovering that cities offer them an eclectic and convenient diet. No longer having to rely upon chasing down wild prey and tasty farm animals out in the countryside, urban coyotes dine on fruit, pet food, and domestic cats—the last of which constitutes up to one-quarter of their rations in Los Angeles. Unfortunately, coyote attacks on humans are also on the increase there—up by a factor of eight in five years! One neighborhood of Culver City, California, experienced some 40 deaths of pets, over a six-month period in 2018! Yikes, that behavior could get them outlawed again!

How do the authorities come up with these dietary figures? Surely they don't rely solely on the frantic response and viral rumors of pet owners. Panicky cat owners are not the most reliable source of information, when Fluffy seems to have disappeared. Maybe Fluffy simply decided to go on an extended voyage, or chased a mouse into the next county.

To be sure of their estimates, researchers in Santa Monica examined the contents of 30,000 coyote scat found in nearby areas. That's a load of poop, but good science demands thorough work and a shitpotful of data. Yes, the poop scientists found excremental evidence of the remains of cats—along with other tasty items such as work gloves, rubber bands, condoms, and a piece from a computer keyboard. (Maybe the letter “c”, for cat?)

A follow-up study by researchers at the University of California, Irvine, examined the stomachs of over 300 coyotes killed on highways. At least they didn't have the job of picking through scat. They also found the smoking-gun remains of pets—along with a baseball, shoes, pieces of furniture, and even some jewels.

Now, urban coyotes, as I wrote above, do have an eclectic diet. Besides cats and small dogs, they seem to enjoy fruits and berries—and there certainly are many fruit trees in sunny California. City officials are a bit stumped about how to respond to Canis latrans—also called “brush wolf” and “prairie wolf,” so they are irresponsibly handing off the chore to citizens, by suggesting that they reduce readily available food supplies, such as fruit trees, pet food, and trash. But if they do that, the foraging and clever coyotes may go after even more cats. Better keep Fluffy indoors.

Dumb Dogs

I posted a blog (1/4/10, “Dumb Cats”) that poked some fun at my sister and her blind fondness of cats. I cited the results of an impeccable English research team that concluded that dogs are smarter than cats. I got surprisingly little flack from my sister for that posting (I guess she either agreed with me or forgivingly tolerated my assault), although another family member vehemently objected. Oh well, you can fool some of the family all of the time, all of the family some of the time, but there’s always a clinker in the closet.

Intelligence—being a very subjective and even somewhat arbitrary measure—is a topic few of us can agree upon (which is why I referred to the scholarly study of the Brits). Your cat may be dumb but mine is the epitome of perspicacity. My cat even leaves your dog in the ditch.

Granting that intelligence is a relative thing, I will acknowledge—in an even-handed, broad-minded manner—that dogs can be pretty dumb too. (Although mine is very smart.) I recently had a lesson in the difference in cognitive power between dogs and coyotes. It is a fact that domesticated critters are dumber than their wild counterparts. Long ago humans selectively bred a few animals—dogs, cats, cattle, sheep—to become docile, malleable, submissive, and calm… i.e., dumb.

Coyotes have been smart enough to avoid being controlled by humans—they hang around, just out of sight, and do pretty much what they want to do. Now, some people might argue that dogs (formerly wolves) are more intelligent, since so many of them have humans fawning upon them and pretty much doing their bidding. That, however, is mere selfish manipulation. Not intelligence. That’s pretty much what cats do… it’s sort of a devil’s bargain. The dog may get pampered, but the manipulation goes both ways. Leave a dog in the wilderness and it’d be helpless.

What is my acid test that coyotes outshine dogs? I’ve heard a few coyotes barking on a quiet night. They have a call that at first sounds rather eerie, but as I listen, I find it quite melodic and beautiful. Their yip is uttered only occasionally, it is variable in quality, and it’s almost as if they are singing. I get the feeling that some kind of communication is going on.

A dog’s bark? Well, so many of them are boringly repetitive. It’s just “ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, …” They can’t seem to stop. They sound very stupid and dull, with no imagination or attempt to communicate, other than, “Here I am… dumb old me. Ruff!” These canines are more like a machine than a sentient being.