Zoom conference calls have become the norm for many people since COVID struck. In an attempt to minimize coronavirus infections, employers have approved of Zoom calls that pull people together into a virtual, online meeting. This new procedure has brought about novel ways of restructuring conferences—ways that are beginning to open up fresh possibilities of how to present oneself, as well as bringing challenges that had been previously unimagined.
One question that frequently arises is, “What to wear on a Zoom call?” Given that you are usually sitting before your computer, what your Zoom cohorts see is you, but only from the waist up. What they see is what matters, isn't it? And what they don't see is out of the picture—so to speak. So, just before the Zoom meeting, you can pull on a respectable shirt, brush your hair, and try to look awake and interested. What you wear below the waist doesn't really matter. It could be pajamas, undershorts, or nothing at all. If you could mute the sound, you probably could even sit on the toilet! Just be sure to have a cup of coffee present—not a bottle of beer.
I checked out a few websites for advice on Zoomwear. The site Cut.com counsels us not to worry about the waist down. Let it be sloppy snd unfashionable. For the waist up, however, the site recommends classy turtlenecks, and offers several stylish models for $60-$175. Popsugarfashions.com advises that one can be both all business on top, yet cozy on the bottom. They advise several flashy accessories to show off your fashion tastes. Wardrobeoxygen.com suggests stylish and eye-catching tops for keeping up with your co-workers, while pitching to clients, or joining in an online happy hour. Some sites give you tips on the best camera angles or the best backgrounds to impress your fellow Zoomers.
Inevitably, however, some lowlife kinds of people would engage in below-camera high-jinks. Whereas it would be disgraceful to pick your nose on camera (where all can see), you might feel comfortable with engaging in some off-camera activities that your fellow Zoomers could not see. Out of sight, out of mind? Maybe an ugly pair of pajama bottoms? Unshaved legs? Your cat in your lap?
Recently, a new Rubicon was crossed, when Jeffrey Toobin, a staffer on the New Yorker magazine, was caught in some below-camera shenanigans during a Zoom call with cohorts. The details are not fully clear, but Mr. Toobin was apparently observed in an act of masturbation during the call. He was quickly suspended from the magazine. He made an apology, saying “I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake, believing I was off camera.” And, “I thought I had muted the Zoom video.” That does not explain why he chose to point his camera toward his crotch, however, or why he would even consider such deplorable behavior online. Could he not wait until the call was over?
A commentator on Buzzfeed inquired about how many others might have committed the sin of Toobin… fellow sinners who did not get caught. Who will cast the first stone? The Buzzfeed writer said “it would be naive to think that most people aren't engaged in some kind of fuckery during a work with Zoom.” How many people have muted their camera to take a hit of a joint?, she asked.
I had thought that working from home might create the problem of people shirking their job and goofing off, when they're supposed to be working. Maybe the more common problem is people jerking off, while pretending to pay attention? Is that look of pleasure on the face of your fellow employee maybe not because you just offered a brilliant suggestion?
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