Parents' Pernicious Lies

Everybody knows that lying is bad. Throughout history one sage voice after another has counseled about the virtues of telling the truth, or warned us of the slippery slope we risk sliding down, “when first we practice to deceive.” Sir Walter Scott warned us with these words, back at the beginning of the 19^th century.

So if we universally agree on the evils of prevarication, why is it that parents habitually lie to their young children? Well, maybe not habitually, but society-sanctioned and widely-practiced lying occurs at least twice a year in Christian (and some other) countries: at Christmas and at Easter. Small children are blatantly deceived about the existence of Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. They are told tall tales about a benevolent nighttime visitor who will bring them gifts. Does gifting children exonerate an adult who lies to them? Surely not.

And now comes scientific evidence from the respected British medical journal The Lancet, where a recently published article claims that indeed, Christmas-time falsities about Santa can be harmful to family relations. Two psychologists (I think they should remain anonymous) wrote an article that maintains that lies about St. Nick can lead to “abject disappointment” when kids find out the truth. Children might lose trust in mom and dad, the shrinks wrote. What's worse, this tall tale about Santa goes on for years—depending on the fibbing skills of the adults and the gullibility of the children. (My belief was shattered at a tender age by an older friend, but I wisely kept up the family deception for a couple of years more.) If mom and dad could keep up the phony story for so long, a kid can't help but wonder what else they are lying about. Fabrications about Santa dangerously erodes family trust!

The psychologists who wrote the article were even more adamant about the use of Santa to bribe kids into good behavior: be good or get no presents. This threat against bad behavior is a devious parental tool of control. 

It's clear that these ongoing lies are undermining civilization. Just think about how damaging this can be to the future of children's morals—especially when they discover this nefarious ruse at a very tender age and then join the family deceit (as I did), as they choose to play along with the lie for several more years. The whole family lies! It's a national (maybe even worldwide) conspiracy!

Should we initiate a campaign to bring honesty back into the family circle by doing away with the Santa fairy tale? Wouldn't that take us back to the good old days, when integrity ruled the world? But then again, we seem to need some degree of fabrication in our lives... might as well be at Christmas—the season already abounds with many other kinds of bizarre behavior.