Let It Go to Have It

The older I get, the more I seem to encounter paradoxes—those statements that at first glance seem to be absurd, but upon further reflection reveal a deeper truth. When I was younger and more rushed, I rarely paused long enough to explore a possible paradoxical statement for its truth. In addition, I bought into the tendency in the western world to think along dualistic lines: when two apparently opposing ideas are expressed in the same context, one must be true and the other false. It’s either black or white; no shades of gray are allowed, let alone consider both polarities.

Life is replete, however, with nuances, subtleties, and contradictions—if we take the time to appreciate them. And the epitome of an apparently incongruous situation is a paradox. I have come to enjoy paradoxes, because they invite me to open up my thinking and find hidden layers of meaning in things—layers I would have missed had I quickly seized on a shallower meaning, grabbed one alternative, and then rushed on to the next encounter.

One such paradoxical statement came to me recently, as I was soaking in the outdoor tub: “Let it go to have it; give it up to get it.” At first glance that does sound absurd. If I give something up I no longer have it, do I? If I let it go, it’s gone, isn’t it? If we are referring to material things, such a statement is indeed illogical.

But how about when we’re talking of nonmaterial things like truth and love? These are things that we can never own or hold onto. If I try to capture or own truth or love, they will inevitably slip away from me, or I’ll perpetually find them just beyond my grasp.

Things of real value are also (another paradox here) free. What’s more, they are everywhere. We are surrounded by them. All we need do is recognize their availability and invite them in for a visit. If I let truth go—in the sense of abandoning any attempt to corral it for myself—I’ll discover that it’ll become a part of me. If I give up love—in the sense of showing care and compassion for others—I’ll become bathed in it.

The Tao Te Ching (the spiritual teachings of Taoism) is a paradoxical book. Written some 2500 years ago in China, it’s a small, straightforward text—yet a little puzzling and even somewhat inaccessible to 21st century Americans. Stephen Mitchell has a version, however, that is beautifully understandable. A few excerpts from Mitchell’s Tao Te Ching that express the paradox of “let it go to have it” are:
* “Therefore the Master… lets things arise and she lets them come;/ Things disappear and she lets them go./ She has but doesn’t possess,/ Acts but doesn’t expect.”
* “…the ancient masters said,/ ‘If you want to be given everything, give up everything’…”
* “The mark of a moderate man/ Is freedom from his own ideas…/Nothing is impossible for him,/ Because he has let go…”
* “Rushing into action, you fail./ Trying to grasp things, you lose them./ Therefore the Master… has nothing,/ Thus has nothing to lose.”