Dog Duty

There is a group of dog breeds that is usually referred to as “working dogs.” The work ethic in these breeds is so strong that their members are truly happiest when they have a job to do. If we humans don't keep a working dog busy, it'll find a way to create work—and that work will usually have a high degree of mischievousness about it.

Our homestead canine—named Gnome Chompsky after the venerable Noam Chomsky—is a mutt, but has a significant amount of border collie in him. Border collies are one of the most obsessed working dogs. They usually do not make good pets in an urban household, because their restlessness and urge to do something will often lead them to herd children in a rough manner, or bug their keepers until everyone is unhappy.

Luckily for us, we live in the woods, so Chompsky can roam as he wishes—seeking all sorts of forest denizens to herd, or just chase, if one of them refuses to cooperate. The main purpose for our having dogs over the years is to fend off deer and rabbits who wish to consume our garden veggies and various shrubs. Living out in the woods, we can let our dogs wander freely, so they spread their scent around the clearing (deer and rabbits have a good sense of smell and fear dogs) or merrily drive the deer deep into the woods. So that's Chompsky's primo assignment... his chief vocation.

But possessing his resourceful and compulsive border collie drive to seek work, Chompsky has created a number of other jobs to keep himself busy, and to watch him work is to know joy in a dog. Here are a few examples.

After meals, he happily provides the first washing of dishes, as his tongue assiduously cleans pots and plates. When visitors drive into our clearing he loudly announces their entrance (overloading our eardrums with his booming barking) and then runs to greet them—often causing them to reel back from his overwhelmingly gleeful reception.

Quite related to his duty of fending off deer, Chompsky does his best at terrorizing moles and voles, as he sniffs for their location and immediately proceeds to excavate major depressions in the yard—causing me to trail him around, repairing the damage.

He is exceptionally talented at learning and memorizing our daily routine, and then reminding us what we should be doing, when we forgetfully stray from the schedule. For example, when it's three minutes past time for a routine task, he plants his butt in the middle of whatever is going on and quizzically cocks his head to one side, as if to say, “I know I'm not in charge here, but haven't you forgotten something? You know, it's my job to keep you on the program.”

On walks through the woods Chompsky acknowledges that he's not in charge of which path I might choose on a given day, so he waits at each junction, looking back at me, patiently but business-like anticipating my decision. When I make a choice, he bounds off down that path, adeptly clearing the way, so I don't have to fret over any elephants or lions who might interfere with my strolling reverie. He also keeps unicorns at bay.

It's not just outdoors but in the confines of the house that our beloved canine never shrinks from his duty. I described earlier his plate-cleaning skills. When all meals are over and all visitors have left, Chompsky's work ethic never flags. In the evening he dutifully lies on our bed, warming my spot, for which I'm grateful, on these cold winter nights.

And then, in the morning,when I rise well before my mate and putter about the house, preparing breakfast, Chompsky knows the time for one of his most crucial duties is upon us. He sits before me, his whole hind end wiggling in eager anticipation, waiting for the magic words, “OK, go get Louisa!” With utter joy, he leaps upon the bed, forcing her to join us in the morning celebrations. My job at that time is to alert her to his impending assault—by a slightly elevated tone of voice—so she can hide under a protective cover of blankets, lest he tear her skin.

We have no sheep on our homestead to satisfy our part-border collie herder, but I believe, with his initiative, that we have come up with enough other meaningful jobs to make his life happy.