I read on the internet that my best defense is to jump around
and madly swipe at them with something. That’s much more my natural
inclination—in fact, I can’t seem to stop myself from going into a manic state
of ducking and leaping, when I hear one of these buggers buzzing around my
head. When I do, I at least have a fair chance of driving one of them away and
a tiny chance of triumphantly whacking one out of midair. That’s an occasion for a celebration! Stop whatever I’m doing and
go inside and open up a beer!
A distant cousin to the horsefly and deerfly is the
blackfly—native to lands north of here. They
are really nasty! I once drove into a
parking lot in a remote provincial park in Canada in the month of May, stepped
out of the car, and was immediately attacked by a killer squadron of
blackflies. Their fierce attack distracted me enough that on one of my wild
swings at them, I slammed the car door closed—locking the keys inside. Their
attack only increased, now that they had me on the ropes. Painful bites ensued
and blood began to stream down my neck.
I was miles from any locksmith. Desperation came over me.
Quickly sizing up my predicament (much faster than otherwise, thanks to the
attackers), I grabbed a rock and smashed a small side window—gaining
reentry and escaping blackfly hell. I fled down the road, leaving the hungry
beasts in my wake.
Returning home to Virginia a day later, I was devastated to
learn that replacing that wee side window would come at an unbelievable cost of
$600! I was devastated to find out that replacing the whole bloody windshield
would have cost less. I don’t think I’ve ever had such a hugely expensive
lesson delivered by such a small pest.
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