Vicarious Pleasure

It is noble to feel compassion for a person (or an animal) when we see them suffering, or struggling with difficulty, or dealing with misfortune. It is especially noble when we feel the urge to help them out. Countless saints have served as models of compassion—demonstrating it and teaching us its importance for a healthy and moral society. 

Compassion is similar to empathy, which is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Yet there's a key difference: compassion does not mean we have to  understand another's feelings—just that we experience some distress at their suffering; even a sense of responsibility to assist in some way. Empathy, however, means that we literally share the emotions of another, to the point that we comprehend their feelings. Additionally, compassion stems from observing another's suffering, while empathy does not have to arise from that suffering—it simply means being able to “step into their shoes” and share their feelings.

Therefore empathy can also be felt when the other is happy; when they experience good fortune. In this case, it is the ability to feel joy on their behalf. And that can sometimes be a greater challenge for us. It's not very hard to feel some pity for that unfortunate soul who is in misery, but it can sometimes be a challenge to feel elated when Lady Luck has smiled upon them. Sure, I can celebrate when my kid or my spouse gets lucky, but how about that guy next door? When fortune smiles upon him, I may instead feel envy or resent his pleasure.

This is similar to the relative manner by which people judge their satisfaction with their income level. Psychological research has demonstrated that we pay less attention to the amount of money we earn, than to how it compares with the incomes of our compatriots or rivals. If I take home more money than my similar-status neighbor, I feel good about it. But if I find out he earns more than I do, I can resent him. It's not my absolute pay, but how I compare relatively, that matters.

So there's something special about the person who can share in the delight of a neighbor's good luck—especially if that neighbor didn't seem to deserve it. To do so, calls for a definite degree of selflessness; a sentiment that doesn't come easily. There is a Buddhist meditation that helps promote this kind of altruism. You begin by desiring those close to you to be well, happy, and peaceful. May they be graced. Then you gradually widen the circle of your care, step by step, until you are wishing all beings to be well, happy, and peaceful... even that lucky guy next door, for whom you've felt a little jealousy, from time to time.