Sunday, June 12, 2016

Bullying Carpenter Bees—Part 2

So I've decided that these guys are real insects. But what are they up to? Are they really threatening? Am I in danger of getting a painful sting? Once, long ago, a bumble bee stung me; it's not an experience I'd ever wish to repeat. So what's going on? What has changed, to bring these pesky little buzzers around, these last few years? Does their intrusive presence indicate a future “Planet of the Bees” horrible scenario? And what's their bullying got to do with me? I'm just doing my thing around the homestead—quiet and peaceful like. Go bother someone else—someone who is causing trouble!
Needing to comprehend this bee bullying, I once again turned to the internet for help. On a University of Kentucky website I learned that the carpenter bee I'm seeing is the male. They are very aggressive, as they protect the nest that their mate has prepared and populated with eggs. Said nest is a hole drilled into wood by mom, into which she deposits half a dozen eggs—each one tucked up against a ball of pollen (the only source of food for these bees). In a week or so, the larva will emerge, dine on its private pollen ball, and begin its seven-week-long life—maybe pestering another innocent human by buzzing around them?
The fascinating fact about these critters is that the aggressive male—that guy who's bullying me—is stingerless! Talk about chutzpah! He's in my face and faking it. He's relying on his substantial size and his threatening buzz to intimidate me... and it's worked! But now, armed with my newly-acquired knowledge, you better watch out, buster; the next time you dive bomb me, I'll get right back in your face and maybe even whap you around a bit. I'm wise to you now.
So I'll go about my business, no longer intimidated by the bullying carpenter bees—although it's difficult to overcome that startled reaction that evolution has built into us, to a big bee's buzzing. It's like the innate aversion we have when we spot a snake. Even after I have learned to appreciate our local snakes' predation of voles, mice, and other bothersome rodents, I still get a flutter of my heart when I spot a serpent—especially if it's only a few feet away.
I think my biggest (and legitimate) concern about carpenter bees is the holes that mama bee drills in our numerous wooden support structures. The internet told me that she can bore holes a foot or two deep in wood. (Good lord! That's equivalent to me tunneling some 150 feet!) Good thing I'm known for overbuilding my structures—I always fashion beams and rafters at least twice the size they need be. Maybe I'll require that extra safety margin, as I now realize that the buzzing carpenter bee is harmless to my hide, but not to wood.


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